When Every Notification Feels Like Surveillance… Is It Really Just a Message?
A phone notification is usually a small moment — a message from a friend, a work update, a reminder, or a simple check-in. But for some people, that notification can bring a feeling of fear, anxiety, or pressure.
What happens when every message feels like a demand?
- Do you feel expected to reply immediately, no matter what you are doing?
- Does someone question who you are speaking to or why?
- Are you being asked to share your location at all times?
- Does someone monitor your social media activity, check your phone, or demand access to your accounts?
These behaviours are not about care or staying connected. They are about control.
Technology-Facilitated Abuse is a form of coercive control where technology is used to monitor, intimidate, threaten, or manipulate someone. This can include the misuse of phones, apps, social media platforms, GPS tracking, online accounts, and other digital devices to invade privacy and restrict independence.
Technology should help people feel connected and empowered. It should not leave someone feeling watched, controlled, or afraid.
No one should feel anxious every time their phone lights up.
Recognising the signs of Technology-Facilitated Abuse is an important step in understanding what is happening and finding support. Whether it is happening to you or someone you care about, support is available.
Donegal Women’s Centre provides confidential, trauma-informed support for women experiencing abuse, including abuse involving technology.
If you are concerned about your own situation or someone else’s, you can find out more and access support at:
Recognise the signs. Start the conversation. Support is available.
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